Until August 9th my only knowledge of the county fair was Charlotte's Web. Brian was shocked I had never been to one, I think they are a big deal in more rural areas or maybe just on the east side of the country, because I NEVER heard of them in L.A. and never went to one in Utah. Well we parked on a giant dirt field and started our approach. I need to provide a little more information so you can fully picture this..1. We just had our car washed before driving onto the muddy field...2. I was wearing a cute little skirt and sandals.... 3.I forgot bug spray...4. Neither of us were wearing anything thing with holes in it or with the sleeves cut off…. We were a little out of place. Now as I am half walking and half prancing because the long grass is tickling my legs and bugs are biting my ankles Brian Points out random blood on the ground near MY feet...YUCK! I don't love seeing large blood spots on the ground. We decided it must be from the animals because we were walking by the large animal pavilion.
We ventured in to look at the animals and do some investigating... I was a little worried that one of them would be bleeding all over the place, lucky there wasn't any more blood. The entire time we were doing this I must have asked 500 questions to anyone and everyone who would answer. "Umm hi I have never been to a fair before.... Why are those pigs slimy? What is over there? Are those kids really going to try and put the slimy pigs in those giant bags? Does it hurt the pigs? Why do they squeal?" I was like a 4 year old who just wont let up on the questioning!! I was amazed by how large the bulls were and I was also amazed that someone put a male and a female sheep in the same pin… that was ummm interesting!
I decided I needed to see more!!! As we walked I kept singing lines from the songs in Charlottes Web... You know the song about the fair after the lights go out that Templeton sings. As we walked I tried not to gawk at all of the pregnant teens and the soon to be pregnant teens. The people were interesting. We even ran into one of Brian's X-girlfriends. This may seem weird but I love seeing who he used to date before we fell MADLY in love, it is entertaining!!!
While we were walking around Brian asked if wanted to see the second place cow. I said YES of course!! He grinned and pointed to a food stand and told me the guy walking by was eating it!!! My face sunk and froze. Suddenly, Brian was laughing hysterically. I felt much better when he promised they weren’t serving the runners-up in the cute cow competition, I refused to eat a burger just incase...
We watched these GIANT tricked-out tractors pull thousands of pounds. This was the most popular event at the fair! We saw trucks doing the same thing. There was even a tractor that had a woman driver. It did not seem like a girlie sport to me but I decided I wanted her to win. I only wanted this because I figured it would really bug all of the men drivers and, I thought that would be funny to watch. Apparently only rich farmers enter these contests because the tractors looked nothing like tractors. They had jet engines attached to them and paint jobs like low riders. I don’t think they plow with those fancy tractors. I did however decide if I ever am in a situation where I have to plow a field I want a hot pink tractor with glitter flames and the words BABY DEER painted on the side (I really saw one like this) it was my favorite one because it was a Jon Deer tractor… I thought it was much more cleaver than the other names. The other ones were all named after hunting asceeories or as I like to call them murder tools!!
We got a funnel cake and a snow cone. It seemed like that was a must. It also made me feel like I was living a Jon Cougar MElencamp song! This was an adventure because I was getting to see a carnie up close!!! Brian had told me that carnies were almost their own breed. While our cake was frying I watched the carnie closely... I swear she picked her nose... Brian said I was imagining things. Then she held the plate against her dirty pants, the food side touching the pants. EWWWW! I only ate to top of the cake. Well while she was making it she was screaming and swearing and talking to a friend of hers. It was then I learned it is the dream of all female Carnies to "Marry a rich man so they can move and live in a big house and never work at another fair". Man OH Man... The fair is better than the best of reality T.V.
This weekend we are going to another fair...Every County has one...I plan on going to as many as possible. It is the best entertainment… I only wish I could bring witnesses…I LOVED it!